The question My wife and I are both 51 and have been together 30 years. She is experiencing terrible perimenopausal symptoms and I am trying to support her as much as possible. I have always been sensitive to her needs – period pain, labour, postnatal depression and three years of anorexia –and I have researched all I can about the perimenopause. I adore my wife and find her sexy, but I know that intimacy is not something she wants at the moment and I respect that. Our sex life has never been regular during our marriage, but I still desire her and wish for some form of intimacy when she is ready. I do not want anyone else and my outlet is self-pleasure when needed, although the teenage guilt is still there! Is there still hope for us to continue a sexual relationship when the time is right? I just don’t want to accept our physical relationship could be over.
Philippa’s answer There you are, living with your sexy wife and, oh dear, you don’t know if you are ever going to get a shag again. Not that you put it like that, that’s just how I read it. You are very measured in your email, showing me just how well you behave, almost as though you’re walking on egg-shells. Got me wondering whether you must walk around your wife on egg-shells, too. By being too tentative you may be losing authenticity. If you over-adapt to your partner, what happens to you? Is there anything left of you for her to have a relationship with? It is a difficult balancing act to be who you really are when you obliterate it by being who you think you should be. Be careful the real you doesn’t get lost with the supreme effort you put into doing what seems to be the right thing.
Continue reading...source https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/11/ask-philippa-perry-will-my-menopausal-wife-ever-want-to-have-sex-with-me-again
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