I secretly hate sex and now fear I will lose my girlfriend

You don’t have to be sexual to feel love, but you do have to be open

The question I’m a guy in my mid-20s who also happens to be asexual. And no, I am not gay. I just can’t feel much, physically. I don’t see it as a problem, but people jump to conclusions online. No one other than me knows. I am in a relationship with this lovely girl and we have only been physically intimate occasionally (once or twice a month – been with her for four months), but it’s OK because she doesn’t have an insatiable need. But she doesn’t know the real me and I feel like I want to be honest with her. And I’m afraid she might leave me because she once said that sex solves all issues in a relationship – I disagree.

To me, sex is repulsive. I hate it. I also have problems with my erection, because I just don’t feel anything. She thinks it’s erectile dysfunction. I don’t want to lose her. I wish I could just be with asexual people, but that scene is pretty abysmal.

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source https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/01/ask-phillipa-perry-i-secretly-hate-sex-and-now-fear-i-may-lose-my-girlfriend

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