Try not to apologise just to soothe the shame and fear, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith – sometimes you have to have the dignity to be disliked
I was, I think, a compulsive liar in my late teens and early 20s. I had, in some ways, a pretty awful adolescence. I was fortunate to meet a young man who was kind, attentive and exactly who I needed at that time. He loved me dearly and I abused that. I lied to him with claims at which, looking back, I’m truly disgusted. I was racked with guilt at the time but I couldn’t seem to control it. I can only think that I was desperate for attention. The lies spread to my friend circle and drew a wedge between my boyfriend and me until we finally, very messily (again, mostly due to my immaturity), broke up.
In the nearly 10 years since, I’ve come clean to my friends, apologised and tried to move on. My friends have forgiven me, for which I’m so grateful. I tried to apologise to my ex at the time, and he tried to forgive me, but understandably his trust in me had been broken beyond repair. I look back at that time and feel some pity for my younger self but mostly so much guilt and shame.
Continue reading...source https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/oct/28/i-used-to-be-a-compulsive-liar-should-i-reach-out-to-someone-i-hurt-or-leave-it-in-the-past
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